hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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