Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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