What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
