Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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