Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You pole danced in your parka.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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