Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
