Don't make out with my wife yet
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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