Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Enjoy the penises
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
