sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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