Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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