whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize