i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I did not marry a roomba.
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