Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
