it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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