i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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