Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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