i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
