Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
