Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
