Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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