I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
be right there i have to get my cape
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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