I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize