some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
