his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
