Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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