Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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