a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
