3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
