Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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