she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
