And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
