no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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