I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
