Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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