Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize