i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
