I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
