i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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