Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
