you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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