hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
