I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
