I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
