Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
