Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
