we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
