i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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