when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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