i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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