I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
