At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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