we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
