Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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