24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
