Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
