Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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