thus making me awesome and them whores
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
