I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
