she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
